Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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