just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
