am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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