Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize