whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
