i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
