Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
