the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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