you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
