i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize