no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
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Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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