literally had 100 drinks last night.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we made out on top of his cat.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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