p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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