I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
