Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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