Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
