im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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