i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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