Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
