all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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