garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
