Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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