He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
