in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
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