Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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