I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
