My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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