so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
