my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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