Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
false alarm. still invincible.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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