Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
