also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
