They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
