Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
