Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
