The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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