I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We have started to decorate penises.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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