at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
