Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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