I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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