hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
