dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize