she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
