bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
