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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling

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• (805): View more from California

  why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside

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• (801): View more from Utah

  This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.

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• (916): View more from California

  Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about

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• (951): View more from California

  Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.

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