Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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