dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
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He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
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so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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