put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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