I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
