Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
