Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She swung at the pinata with crutches
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
