I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
