idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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