She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
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I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
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I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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