I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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