one two three fourrrrnication!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
