Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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