I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize