Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
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I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
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I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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