Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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