i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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