My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
