Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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