You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
