I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
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Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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