I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
